Saw “Life in a Metro” yesterday - a nice, though not exceptional movie. I loved it because of the beautiful songs, the locations, some of which reminded me deeply of life back in Mumbai, and because of the Irrfan-Konkona plot, which was fascinating and hilarious (though a bit melodramatic towards the climax).

The other characters/plots did provide food for thought, but then the darkness was a little overstretched, and one had trouble identifying with them as real people. Cos honestly, no one, espc no one living in a crowded, time-killing metro has the patience or stamina to be dishonest all the time.

Some of the locations and moments  in the movie were fabulous – the BEST buses, the tricky issues if your date accompanies you in a general compartment, walking in cats-n-dogs rain – those were nostalgia kick-starters for sure.  

The songs have a haunting effect, and not going to stop running in my head for a week or two at least… In Dino, Dil Mera… hm hm hm hm…

The Board of Directors of Beating-Arose Ltd, of which I am a share holder informed me today by means of postal correspondence of their intention to appoint Mr. Sun-naiyo Khoobayyashi as a Damaging Director. Further, they politely averred to a side-effect this would have on my dividend in the forthcoming years, since this appointment would entail redirecting a fraction of profits (a figure with lots of zeroes) towards Mr. SK’s remuneration. Now, why pray did this Goliath corporation take pains to inform a non-entity like me… well, apparently, as a share holder my consent is sought for the appointment.  

Now, my comments/grievances to Beating-Arose Ltd are as follows:

1. My consent?? Hah! Really! Wait, let me get this straight… given the fact that I own 0.000000000000001% of the equity, how much voting prowess does that convert into? Er, does it give me say a right to veto??

2. I’m a share-holder dammit! (albeit a microscopically tiny share-holder)…. you are supposed to make me feel good. And honestly, don’t know what your market analysts have been telling you… but, informing me of this Big-Wig chap who’s Professional Tax contribution is greater than my gross annual income does NOT boost my morale.

3. Er, all those expenses you incur buying paper, toner cartridges, envelopes, not to mention boosting the profits of DheereChal Courier company trying to get this information to the homes of “significant” share holders like me… would it be too much to ask you NOT to do that, and divert the same to my annual dividend?

 4. Suggestion… er, can we NOT recruit Mr. Big-Wig and outsource this position to a person from a fifth-world nation at one-zillionth the cost??

 5. No wait… thats all for now!

 ps. If you’ve recognized the true identity of Beating-Arose Ltd or Mr. Sun-naiyo Khoobayyashi, pls don’t do my chugli… I honestly want to retain my Share-Holdership. BA or Mr. SK, if you happen to read this (yeah right!)… but if you do, no Hard Feelings meant, cross my heart!

Heck, if one can’t register a winning vote, one must atleast crib!

What’s a good way to spend your Christmas evening, especially when it falls on a Monday, and the holiday spirits have been with you a whole long weekend. Well, one of the movie channels reccomended watching Richard Curtis’ “Love Actually” for the nth time… for once, I agreed! Very nice movie indeed…

But, that movie wasn’t the only heart-warming viewing of this weekend. Midnight on Christmas eve, I had a sudden urge to slip into my shoes, and take a walk past the Methodical Church around the corner. The church of course, was splendidly decorated in a warm, yet not over-zealous display of holiday lighting and floral arrangements. The choir was playing a mellow tune, and the ambiance was one of serene beauty. It was as I walked back home though, that I saw something even more beautiful. The road I chose to take leads through what is best described as a semi-slum. The residents of this dingy locality were however waving in the festivities with a greater zest. A hastily constructed shamiana protected a “loudspeaker”, that was humming carols in a slightly broken, but certainly cheerful tone. Rangolis were being drawn up on the street, in front of each ramshackle house – stars and christmas trees were clearly outlined, and Santa was being dressed up in the corner. A few kids came to the party, with their share of ammunition, by firing off a few multi-hued “rockets”.

Well, there are things that we Indians are good at, and things that we aren’t, but adding zest and colour to a celebration is an instinct that perhaps runs through our veins!

Got out of office early today, cos I was feeling a little tired. It was raining as I walked to the parking lot… not heavy, but certainly more than a drizzle. I was lost in thought, and didn´t notice that it was more than a drizzle till a few shivers ran down my spine. And then, as I backed up the car and tuned into an FM broadcast, almost as an uncanny coincidence it was playing GNR’s November Rain. Now, I know it isn’t november yet, and also that this post perhaps makes no sense (ït would if you knew the context), but it is a beautiful song…

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain…

A new restaurant opened up recently a furlong or so away from where my folks stay in Navi Mumbai. Almost instantaneously it was a top feature on prime time news for all the wrong reasons. The promoter chose to name his eat-house “Hitler’s Cross”. Not surprisingly, the local Jewish community was up in protest, and the eatery was quickly rechristened.

But this post is not really about this cavalier means of advertising, but about something a lot more subtle that not many people seem to have noticed. The portrait of Hitler that the eatery used during this ad campaign was not picked out from history books. The portrait was constructed by digitally imprinting a Hitler-style moustache over the face of a powerful world leader of contemporary times. Who? The title of this post gives it away!

Was there a more subtle message in this ad campaign… the thought is rather uncanny… the resemblance, even more so…!

Caught the movie yesterday and here’s my review…

Solid fillum hai waap… bole to ekdum jhakkas!!!

HJ keeps telling me stories about his kids. Apparently, one day when the two sweet little devils were upto their usual dose of mischief and more, HJ in an attempt to restore sanctity threatened to pack them off with the garbage truck next morning. The little toddler “dummi” was quite petrified at the thought! For a few days since then, she would wake up every morning asking… “rubbish lorry gone?”… just her way of ensuring that the immediate danger has passed, and she can get back to her nefarious designs. The elder kid had a more immediate reaction to the threat… he looked despairingly towards his mom, realizing that being packed off meant being separated from her, pondered this thought twice over, and finally asked with genuine concern – “then who will wash my bum?!”…

Kids… they never cease to surprise! And that’s how they should be – spinning their nefarious webs of mayhem, breaking the unbreakable, creating the undecipherable, and worrying only about silly things like garbage trucks and bums that need washing.

Sadly, too many kids in this nation spend their time with worries that are non-trivial – worrying about food, about shelter. For millions of families in India today, the child is a bread winner - a source for the next square meal, for a roof over the head, just like an adult. The government now is once again talking tough; is talking about serious action towards shelving out child labour. This is a noble thought indeed, but how far will legislative action help solve the real problem. Laying down the law might at best prevent children from being exploited as cheap labour, but is the law going to feed the children and their families. After all, there is truth in the argument that if you prevent children from working, you are effectively taking away income from families that might need this income just to survive.

No… i’m not trying to play advocate to child labour. And yes, there is truth also in the argument that if law is indeed able to enforce the ban on child labour, it will perhaps force people to think twice before they *produce* children, which in turn has a positive impact on the population issue. All i’m trying to figure out is what happens in the time between when the law is enforced and the time when a social system is available to ensure that no child goes hungry. All i’m trying to figure out is, the millions of children who eat today only because they work and earn their own food; who will feed them?…

Saw Naseerudin Shah’s directorial attempt this week, and read Dan Brown’s Da Vinci code.

Now, before I get to my opinions, let me digress and explain why I rifled through the code now, rather than earlier. After reading Angels and Demons last year, had told myself that I’d expended enough time to Mr. Brown’s thoughts for one lifetime. So why did I read it after all?  Well, there simply are occasions when boredom gets the better of resolutions…

Anyway, I was expecting a lot from the movie (YHTKH), and very little from the book… and honestly, was in for a surprise on both fronts. To Mr. Brown’s credit, the book sets a tenacious pace, and the narrative is quite gripping – a fact which compelled me to read the entire book in a single sitting. To Mr. Shah’s credit, he is an extremely seasoned and accomplished actor, and has attempted to make a movie that steps away from the ordinary. However, beyond a point, both the story tellers fail miserably.

Brown’s addiction for labyrinthine sub-plots is so over-stretched, that the plot gets too convoluted, and is not believable. But, that’s not where the story teller fails – he fails due to the fact that the story disappointingly leads nowhere in particular, and at the end of the book, the reader is left feeling like a donkey looking at a radish pinned to its own nose.

Shah’s story on the other hand is simple, even predictable – the trouble is, the narration is too convoluted. The viewer is almost left with the feeling that he knows where the story is going, but wonders if the characters are actually going there too, or have got lost somewhere in personal labyrinths of their own.

Well, at the end of the two experiences, knowing the fact that I’ve expended 2 hours of my life on one, and 6 hours on the other, there’s just one thing I have to say – Yun Na Hota To Kya Hota!!