How do you fit three cars and two bikes into 78 sqft of space, especially when the space is distributed in the topology of a ‘T’, with about 48 ft in the longer stroke and 30 in the shorter one? Well, it is not just possible, but actually quite trivial… K and I, and our landlord have been doing this quite successfully for over an year now, never raising too much of a smirk about the entire business. If this doesn’t amaze you, trust me, only one of the five vehicles in question is bulimic. No, not one of the bikes… K’s bike and mine are beauties, but definitely not of the Kate Moss kind!
That 78sqft of space was until now as strangely Utopian maze of simple permutations and combinations. But alas! Paradise wasn’t to last for ever! Circumstances, Gods, Murphy, or all of the these have conspired, and our rather plaintive geometric equations have been thrown awry! New neighbours moved in recently, and brought with them such devastation as was hitherto unheard of in our uncomplicated lives. This devastating force came in the form of a petulant little red devil on four wheels, that has now planted itself in the company of a rather large and ungainly gargoyle all in about 50sqcm of space right adjacent to our utopia. The gargoyle – a large sedan, seated on a verisame number of circular appendages as the majority of the beasts above is not a new entrant into our universe. It had always been there, right next door, posing a threat, but never really intruding into our 78. A gargoyle by itself is a very docile creature, by the way, but throw in a red devil for company, and you’ve just opened up the gates to hell.
And hell it is… K can’t move his car a few feet forward cos that would put two other vehicles under house arrest. Unfortunately, one of those vehicles is a bike that belongs to our landlord’s son, and he might not take lightly to the idea of people taking the zu(m) out of his Suzuki and leaving him with just a Suu Kyi. I can , btw, parallel park between K’s car and the red devil, and I don’t just mean the Steve-Martin-as-Inspector-Clouzeau kind of parallel parking. But then, parallel parking to start and end my day is not really one of those dreams I cherished back when I was dozing off in back-benches at school. And of course, there’s the minor discomfort associated with the fact that if I did parallel park, the only way K’s bike or mine would ever leave the premises, would be with the aid of a few Evil-Kneivelish stunts.
Fact is, Murphy has spoken, and I have resigned to my fate! Fortunately, there’s plenty of parking space (albeit rodent infested parking space) at my office, eight km away. There is hope yet… and thus, I shall leave my car parked in office henceforth. And what pray, u ask, would I be inclined to do, when spinning one wheel sitting atop four is called for… well, there’s always the bike… office is just 8 km away… and from there on, it is after all a small world…!
